No One Owes You Their Diagnosis. No One Owes You Their Medical Records.

This should be obvious, but sometimes it feels like people do have this expectation.

Especially people who place so much value on formal diagnosis. They think that anyone who doesn’t have a formal diagnosis, yet says they’re autistic, must be “faking”.

But If I say just say to you, in person or in a comment section, or in a blog, "I’m autistic", how will you ever know if I'm diagnosed or not, lying or not?

I know the idea might make some people uncomfortable, but it’s a fact of life:

people will lie.

Of course, people shouldn't lie, ideally. But they will.

And of course, we can agree, we shouldn’t be expected to carry our diagnosis papers around with us just so we can prove we are definitely certainly autistic as stated in writing by some psychologist.

And I’m sure, in real life, no one would ever think to question someone’s diagnosis... right?

But on the internet, this questioning is rife. According to the people of the fake disorder cringe subreddit, or similar online spaces, if you fit a certain stereotype - namely a young white woman or afab person, usually dresses alternatively - you must definitely be faking, and therefore your diagnosis status is brought into question, and oftentimes just straight up not believed.

Someone can state that they’re diagnosed, and they’ll still be called a self diagnosed faker.

I think in their eyes, anyone who disagrees with them must be a faker. I could go to a fdc comment section and start my point with "i'm autistic and-", and simply for the fact that I disagree with their stance, I will be called a faker. But I am diagnosed. And I know that I am. They don't, because to them I'm just a stranger on reddit.

But the truth is, there’s no way to appease these people, because even if we were to go to the extent of posting our letter of diagnosis online, they could still claim that it’s faked. Which I think goes to show that they don’t actually care about “calling out misinformation and fakers”, they just care about targeting a specific demographic and attacking them.

I do fear that this may leak into the real world. Will people’s diagnoses start being questioned in real life, in person?

So again...

No one owes anyone proof of their diagnosis. If you don’t believe them, fine, but keep it to yourself. It can stay an inside thought.

If the possibility of people lying to you makes you uncomfortable, then unfortunately I have to say - welcome to the real world. It will happen.

But wouldn’t it make you happier to just believe people rather than make snap judgements?

It’s a sentiment I’ve held for a long time, even long before this whole idea of people “faking” autism became a thing, and before I even realised I was autistic myself:

I’d rather believe a lier out of good intent, than deny someone who’s genuine, and cause real harm.

I’d rather look momentarily gullible for believing a faker, than to look like an a**hole for bullying someone who is genuinely autistic.

If you’d rather look like an a**hole, then I think you’re just insecure.

I mean, whats the worst that would happen if you believe a faker?

Your ego may be a little bruised if you ever find out, they will just get to play the game until they get bored and realise that faking a disorder is not in fact fun.

What's the worst that would happen if you deny someone who's genuine?

Their mental health declines. Because no matter how much they try and prove it to you, you continue to deny, and deny. They'll feel like they're not being listened to, not believed, and I think most of us have felt that at some point in our lives, and felt how horrible that feeling is. And if you haven't, well be glad, because it sucks.

But the worst that could happen? You target the wrong person. You target someone who does genuinely have mental health struggles, and push them one step too far and they pull the plug. They end their life. And then who's fault would that be?

So yeah, I'd rather deal with looking a little gullible, than being responsible for someone's death. Just because you can hide behind a keyboard, and a screen name, doesn't mean you're not still responsible.